Found writing:

"Do I begin with a yearning, a desire for more than myself, or do I begin with the eruption, or the arising, the arrival of my son Elias. My life shift on February 2nd, 2004. Never to be the same. Why? There is never a day I won't worry about the safety of my son. His health, his heart, his innocence, his body, his mind, his angelic soul, I want all of it intact forever-The dryer buzzes. Jack Johnson sings on our stereo and my husband Nick works outside in the shed building dreams out of cedar and plywood. Elias sleeps and I sit and try to follow my thoughts that fly faster than light faster than this roller pen can ride..."

The handwriting grows larger, looser, and harder to read.

Not sure when I wrote it.

And a picture from long ago:

Comments

[JenniferB]

That's a really beautiful reminder for each of us who is a parent, of the love and yearning we have for our babies and their future. Thank you!

[Christy]

Thank you Jennifer. I know that regardless of Elias's needs I would worry about all of this anyways and I'm learning that part of what it means to be a parent is to love someone so unconditionally who's fate we ultimately can't control. And that I never really had the control over my own life that I thought I did-- but by letting go there is much to learn.

[Kyla]

Beautiful, Christy...both the words and your son.

[LISA L.]

ahhh so precious and so tiny

[Amanda]

What a beautiful post... and a beautiful boy.

[sylvia]

i flew out to california last yr to be with my daughter who had her baby 2 months early. even when my daughter was being nursed back to health, she would go to the nursury ICU to see her daughter. the baby's 16 months now, and doing well. thank you for sharing your intimate thoughts with us. Elias is beautiful.

[Vicki Forman]

Oh my, what a little man.