The Day After

I need to read all your comments four or five times each so the kind words seep in and saturate the shadows.

Those dark places that feel unlovable. That no amount of dark chocolate can fill.

(Believe me, I've tried.)

Just writing about my demons helps-- as if shaping my feelings into words makes them less scary. Less looming and large. Leaving more room for laughter and kisses.

My birthday started with the sight of orange and yellow tulips, fresh sliced strawberries and the smell of cinnamon rolls baking in the oven. Nick coached Elias to say, "Happy Birthday Mama!" and then cooked us both cheesy eggs for breakfast before leaving for work.

Elias and I attended his one hour special needs play group (LEAP) during which he resisted circle time and sensory play, stole toys from Keiten and Holland's hands, and chose apple over cheese even though he wanted to eat cheese and not apple during snack time.

Typical toddler behavior. (I couldn't be more proud.)

After LEAP we drove to the Dimond Athletic Center for swim therapy and practiced walking in the water, pushing off the walls with our feet, and blowing bubbles.

We've been trying to teach Elias to blow bubbles for almost a year now and he blew his first true bubble on my birthday.  The perfect gift.

After lunch we walked in the woods with Ginna and her dog Lebo, a Lab-Rottweiler-Sheppard  mix, tall and muscular, with a curly tail who likes to lick faces. To give luscious dog kisses.

"No Lebo, gross!" Gina scolded when he sniffed something in the snow out of my sight.

Elias cracked up.

"Gross Yabo!!! Gross!!!!" He repeated, giggling more and more each time,  laughing so freely that I couldn't imagine anything sillier than the word gross.

Or anything more heart-breakingly beautiful than the boy on my back.

Comments

[Kyla]

I'm glad you had a good day! Yay for bubbles!!! KayTar doesn't know how to blow or suck at this point, which sounds much dirtier when I write it out like this and makes me a little glad. *lol* But back to the point, YAY BUBBLES!!
Elias is so precious...thanks for sharing him with us, Christy.

[Betti]

_Something_ about little boys giggling as they say "gross" makes me smile, just to think about it. Thanks for sharing that news.

[Dena (YIN)]

I know EXACTLY what you mean. It's such a relief to see "typical toddler behavior" in these precious 23 weeker BOYS. (I have one, too) And the bubbles, yea, you work and work with them and try to teach them what comes so easily to full term babies and when they finally get it, it's such a huge accomplishment for both him AND you. Glad you had a good birthday

[JenniferB]

Sounds like such a great birthday! Bubbles, tulips and typical toddlerhood -- awesome gifts! Happy year to you!

[Kristin]

Happy (belated) Birthday, Christy!

I hope this year is full of spectacular surprises...and many proud mommy moments ! :)

[LISA L.]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, I HOPE MY BIRTHDAY (TOMORROW) GOES AS WELL!

[Ginny]

Happy Belated Birthday, Christy. That post - oh, boy, did I relate. I turn 38 later this year. And I'm not where I thought I'd be in my life, feeling old. But I keep on going, thinking maybe this will be the year when I get it all together. But maybe I'm right where I'm supposed to be. Here's to birthdays, to questions, to finding (or not) the answers. Here's to enjoying just exactly where we are.

[Christy]

Happy Birthday Lisa L.--hope it is going well. (that even rhymes)

And thank you all for my birthday comments. I even had a dinner date with Nick-- a four course meal and a bottle of wine, complete with a piece of chocolate cake with a single candle for the traditional wish.

I'd tell you what I wished for but then it wouldn't come true!

[Colby Scudder]

Happy Belated B-Day!!!! How old are you now --- 23?

:) Tah Tah For Now - Colby S.