I cried walking out of the hospital today. Been there done that. But today was different. Another first.
Dr. Neeno said we can try taking Elias off Singulair, a drug he uses to combat his upper airway congestion. He hasn't needed to use his nebulizer for wheezing since our last appointment six months ago and he made it through the winter with only mild colds.
Why the tears?
For the first time ever, Elias will be drug-free.
Four years ago if you asked me about my birth plan and child-rearing philosophy, I would have painted you a natural landscape without technology or western medicine in the frame. I may have even tried to convert you to "my side" as I snubbed the overuse of medication, equipment, evaluations, and tests to introduce children to the world.
I'm glad I've grown up a bit since then, enough at least to embrace options.
We need options for the moment we stand stripped of all that we thought we knew.
I know now that technology saves lives.
Elias would not be here if we didn't drive to the hospital on that fateful night during my 24th week.
A machine breathed when he could not. Skilled surgeons operated on his heart, his brain, his eyes.
I signed my name.
There comes a time when there is no right or wrong. No good or evil. No sides. Just love in the squeeze of a hand. The pleading for life.
If Dr. Neeno told me today to up his doses or add another prescription to his regimen you would see me standing in the pharmacy line.
Instead my boy gets a reprieve. For now.
Just in time for our two month hiatus from the world of medication, equipment, evaluations, and tests. Two months to travel and bike around the Pacific Northwest visiting family and old friends. Spending time outside as if we never lived in a hospital counting down the days.
We leave Anchorage in three days.
Our load just grew lighter.
Congratulations! I know how good that feels. Are you coming down to Seattle?
Posted by: Jodi | May 22, 2007 at 04:23 PM
Woo hoo! Love the wheelbarrow picture. My grandfather used to give me wheelbarrow rides. I forgot all about that until I saw the photo of you and Elias.
Posted by: | May 22, 2007 at 05:05 PM
Woo hoo! Love the wheelbarrow picture. My grandfather used to give me wheelbarrow rides. I forgot all about that until I saw the photo of you and Elias.
Posted by: Angie | May 22, 2007 at 05:05 PM
Congrats on being free of meds! Enjoy your two-month trip:)
Posted by: Mel | May 22, 2007 at 05:40 PM
Oh, that is amazing!! I'm so happy for you.
Here's to an excellent vacation, Christy.
Posted by: Kyla | May 22, 2007 at 06:29 PM
Jodi, my brother's family lives in Seattle so we will be staying there for a night before we go to the coast to start our bike trip to Wyoming. Unfortunately, our time frame is limited b/c the bike part is sandwiched between two important weddings-- so we may only be there for less than 24 hours to pack the RV before heading out. Though Seattle is our nearest big city so we will be back.
Posted by: Christy | May 22, 2007 at 09:43 PM
..so Mary Dallas and Meg, we will just be passing through Portland and only stopping for gas if that, at least on the way down... But maybe on the way back...
Posted by: Christy | May 22, 2007 at 09:45 PM
Congrats congrats congrats! It's not a little thing to not have to stand in line at the pharmacy!
Have fun on your vacation. I think that it's a great idea to have some time to just be a family and have fun.
Posted by: Tracy | May 23, 2007 at 04:58 AM
I can't say that your two month bike trip sounds fun (because to me it sounds like hell on earth), but I can tell you are looking forward to it, so I hope it lives up to all your expectations.
Posted by: VirginiaGal | May 23, 2007 at 05:22 AM
i got a little thrill of joy and respite and hope reading that, Christy.
drive safe, travel light. come back soon.
Posted by: Bon | May 23, 2007 at 05:19 PM
I'm so glad...
Posted by: Nelba Vercuil | May 23, 2007 at 11:08 PM
Have I mentioned yet today that I adore you? I am so excited that Face is down to 3 meds, 4 doses (down from 11 meds, 27 doses). It fills me with joy and yet - most people wouldnt understand.
The other day a woman berated her 14 month old - for pointing. All I could think of was you (and me at one point also) wishing with all our might that our child would point.
Im back in college and the former drug-addict professor was bragging about how he wont even take and aspirin or let his kids take any and it was all I could do not to shout PRIVLEDGE! lol
Hurah for self-restraint.
Have a blessed journey in the Lower 48.
Posted by: That Girl | May 28, 2007 at 08:58 AM
I'm thrilled for Elias, and so thankful that you wrote this post; I'm examining my attitude towards western medicine in pregnancy and infancy and I *really* needed to be reminded . . .
Posted by: Betti | June 13, 2007 at 06:35 AM