Carry You

Why can it be so difficult to talk to the people we love?   

The same people we aren't afraid to fart next to terrify us when it comes to revealing the truth.

Even something small like hurt feelings, unmet needs or a change of mind.

If I wasn't stuck in this place of disconnect where words misbehave,

I'd tell you about Elias's progress with the walker, that he is learning to steer even if this includes falling over backwards multiple times in a day, that we hope to order him his own fancy walker with back breaks and burly swivel wheels for Seward.

That his fourth appointment tomorrow includes casting for Orthosis to help align his feet and ankles while supporting his calves.

I'd tell you that Elias sometimes de-pants me as he pulls himself up and pleads:  Come here up Mama .

Or my favorite, carry you.

Comments

[Kelly]

Ahh, braces. All I can say is thank goodness they have simplifed the process! When I had mine made, it was basically like fashioning a cast. Then (and this part terrifed me!) they would use the saw to release the plaster from my skin. I was so scared they were going to cut my leg!! They used to beg me to stop screaming and would bribe me with Kit-Kats :-) Then they would create the brace using the cast..somehow. When I got my new one 2 years ago all they did was put on a sock and somehow the image was magically transferred to a screen! Piece of cake. And fear free! My favorite part when I was little was getting to pick out a cool color for the velcro straps..usually hot pink! Hope all goes well tomorrow! :-)

[Deidre]

It took me three days to work up the courage to quit a job I had only worked at for two days, so you can almost forget me confronting people I love. I mull it over and over in my head until I decide that it isn't worth creating waves over something as mundane as my feelings, needs, or desires, which really isn't fair to me or them but I haven't got the courage to change that pattern yet.

So more power to you for having the ability to say "no" and working on the words to express your truth to someone. I wish you strength, kindness, and power. In the meantime I hope the joy from Elias can "carry you". Best wishes for the Orthosis tomorrow. As always I'm cheering for each of you! Lots of love

[natalie]

Oh, Elias' sweet words and actions do carry you...

[Gillian]

Love vanquishes all fear except the fear of losing the beloved. That fear only increases at the same speed and depth as the love. There is so much more to lose that it feels more terrifying as we become all entangled in one another. Not sure where I end and he begins. I would have huge holes where elements of him belong.

[JenniferB]

Thank you for this one -- you reminded me of my favorite entreaty from my older daughter when she was 2 1/2 -- "sit under my lap, Momma?" while patting the floor, and then when I sat down she would back up into my lap and lean into me for snuggling. LOVE that memory.

[Kelly]

Awww, carry you. Those simple words from the tiny mean so much more than they could ever know. My favorite from my boy is 'hold you'.

[Kyla]

I wrote a post on a similar topic recently...let me know what you think if you get a chance to read it.

http://khebert.blogspot.com/2006/11/13.html