Passing the Torch

I wish I knew about blogs during my six weeks of strict bed-rest. The connection to actual live human beings would have made the days pass easier. I would have felt a part of something real. As it was I became more interested in football than I have ever been before because, more than taped TV shows, live games helped me to feel as though I was participating in life-- instead of watching it through the window from my prone position.

I'm new to the Internet world. Didn't get an email account until I moved to Alaska in 2000. Until it became economically necessary. And even then I checked my in-box maybe once a week and was more likely to pick up the phone and call a friend than type my hellos.

And then Elias, my first child, was born four months early, resuscitated at birth, and  dependent on foreign equipment to survive.

And I could not talk.

But I could write.

I could write at my own pace, when and where I needed to, without answering questions or hearing one more person say, "Everything will be OK."

This writing started as a way to communicate with family and friends during Elias's 94 days in the NICU. But it continued once we came home because despite my naive notion that discharge day meant we were bringing home a healthy baby, our collision with the medical world did not stop on May 5th.

We are still reeling from the impact. Still crashing and falling and getting up again. Translating our new reality and readjusting our lives accordingly.

And so I write. And when I have time, which is not nearly as often as I'd like to due to conflicting demands, I read other people's blogs.

And I am made wiser by their words.

Two in particular, Kyla and The Mad Momma, recently honored me with the Thinking Blogger Award and now it is my duty to pass the torch.

After the glow of recognition, came the stress of picking some writers over others because one of my childhood hang-ups is making sure everything is Even and Fair and No One Feels Left Out.

(As a kid I divvied M&M's up by color and then sorted them evenly between friends. I sat in the middle of the backseat between feuding sisters. I cried when my friends fought over who played who in a backyard game of house. Even now, when Shawn, our unofficial player/coach for soccer, doesn't feel like being the one to always choose teams and asks me to pick them I over-think the responsibility so much and take soooo long that he ends up doing it anyways...)

How do I select someone for the award and not another? Especially as a new blogger who does not have time to read a wide breadth of other blogs on a regular basis? Oh, the agony of the selection process. Christy, it is not as big a deal as you are making it out to be, just choose. Oh, right, thanks.

So I decided to choose five bloggers who have written posts recently that made me go: Aha! All for different reasons but all wise. There are many more. But on this 11th day of March I choose:

Bon, of Cribchronicles, for writing on the raw edge of grief, for the beauty she laces between tears.

Moreena, of the Wait and the Wonder,  for her fitting metaphor that illustrates the difference between "normal" parenting worries and the worries when your child is sick.

Vicki , of Speak Softly, for her argument that we are more than "mommy bloggers" but women who write about mothering, meaning, and so much more...

Catherine, of Everything is Under Control, for her tribute to words; her newfound understanding that sometimes words don't need to be analyzed but can just be-- and that is enough.

Catherine, of Dalai Mama, for reminding me to turn off the computer, turn off the TO Do list in my brain, and be fully present with my child--for that is what  matters most of all.

And thank you to each and everyone of you, listed and not, who choose to write your truths.

I pass you the torch as well!

(Fair. Even. Just.)

I borrowed The Mad Momma's explanation of the award:

"The participation rules are simple:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think

2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme,

3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote (here is an alternative silver version if gold doesn't fit your blog)."

Comments

[ilker]

Hello people.. Did you know? I recently got a brand new shiny dot com domain name! =)

Would you be so kind to change the links from ilkeryoldas.blogspot.com to www.thethinkingblog.com ?

Thanks a million!

[aly]

just a quick note to say congrats on being nominated, thanks for the new blogs to read and i continue to be impressed at not only your writing, but your courage and your determination. i was so glad to hear how you and elias spent your last week-- you're doing all the right things for the best reasons. thank you. :)

[Bon]

dude. thanks, Christy...i'm particularly honoured by the nod because it comes from you. yours was one of the first blogs i started reading...and your honesty's sparked my own, and given me plenty to think about along the way.

like you, i started writing (in my case, while ON bedrest...but still long before i started reading parenting blogs) because i was reeling and needing to communicate. and eventually that writing turned to blogging because i thought my family & friends might be getting tired of ye old mass email updates. funny, the things we fall into, and then discover a whole new world through.

glad you're in it, and glad you're out there reading what i'm trying to spit out.

[Catherine]

"And I could not talk. But I could write."

I understand this...And I'm personally very glad to have found your words. You inspire me to be...better. Thank you.

[Kyla]

Yay!!! I don't read a couple of those! I have to admit, one of my favorite parts of this award is the new reading material I get out of it. Hahaha!

[moreena]

Thank you! I've been thinking about this ever since Kyla posted, and I can't wait to link to my own nominations. Even though I suffer from a paralyzing fear of making choices.